From Self-Awareness to Style Flexibility: The Skill That Makes Collaboration Work

Teams bring together people with different experiences, perspectives, and ways of working. These differences can strengthen problem-solving and decision-making, but they can also create friction when they are misunderstood.

Some team members prefer to think through an issue before discussing it; others develop their thinking through conversation. Some want to understand the details before reaching a conclusion; others prefer to start with the big picture. Some seek quick decisions, while others want to explore alternatives before committing to a course of action.

None of these approaches is inherently better than another. The challenge arises when people assume that their preferred way of working is the way others should work too.

Self-awareness helps individuals recognize these preferences in themselves. Style flexibility takes the next step: using that awareness to adapt how we communicate and collaborate with others.‍

What Is Style Flexibility?‍

Style flexibility is the ability to adjust how we communicate, interact, and work based on the needs of the situation and the people involved.

It begins with understanding our own preferences. Frameworks such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) can provide a useful language for exploring differences in how people may prefer to:

• Direct and receive energy: Engaging actively with the external environment or reflecting internally before responding.
• Take in information: Focusing on concrete facts and details or looking for patterns, possibilities, and the bigger picture.
• Make decisions: Prioritizing objective logic and consistency or considering values and the impact on people.
• Approach structure: Preferring plans, closure, and predictability or maintaining flexibility and keeping options open.

These preferences should not be treated as fixed labels or limitations. Their value lies in helping individuals recognize their natural tendencies and understand why colleagues may approach the same situation differently.

Self-awareness identifies the default. Style flexibility determines when that default needs to change.

‍Why Self-Awareness Alone Is Not Enough

Understanding our own working preferences can explain why certain behaviors feel natural. It can also help us recognize why another person's approach may feel unfamiliar or frustrating.

However, awareness alone does not necessarily improve collaboration. Differences in style can easily be misinterpreted:

• A colleague who asks for more detail may be perceived as slowing progress when they are trying to establish sufficient clarity.
• Someone who pushes towards a decision may appear impatient when their preference is to create closure and move into action.
• A team member who takes time before responding may seem disengaged when they are processing the information internally.
• Someone who challenges an idea directly may be perceived as confrontational when their intention is to test the logic and strengthen the outcome.

The risk is that teams begin attributing differences in behavior to competence, commitment, or attitude rather than recognizing them as different ways of working.

Recognizing these differences is important. Adapting to them is what makes the awareness useful.

‍Applying Style Flexibility in Everyday Teamwork

Style flexibility becomes particularly valuable in routine interactions where different working preferences frequently surface.

• Meetings: Balance spontaneous discussion with opportunities for considered input. Sharing agendas or questions in advance can help some team members prepare, while live discussion gives others space to develop ideas collaboratively.
• Decision-making: Recognize the value of both exploration and closure. Team members who naturally push towards action can create room for alternative perspectives, while those who prefer extensive analysis can recognize when sufficient information exists to move forward.
• Feedback: Consider not only what needs to be communicated, but how the message can be made clear and actionable for the recipient. Different individuals may respond differently to directness, context, detail, or opportunities for discussion.
• Disagreement: Avoid allowing differences in communication style to become interpersonal conflict. Directness, questioning, reflection, or a desire for consensus may reflect different preferences rather than negative intent.

In each case, the objective is not to eliminate differences. It is to adapt the interaction so those differences contribute to, rather than hinder, the team's work.

The Business Impact of Style Flexibility

When style flexibility becomes a shared team capability, organizations can gain more value from the different perspectives and working preferences within their teams.

It can help teams:

• Communicate more effectively: Team members consider how information will be received, not only how they prefer to deliver it.
• Reduce unnecessary friction: Differences in behavior are less likely to be misinterpreted as problems with attitude or commitment.
• Make better decisions: Teams create room for different perspectives while maintaining the ability to move from discussion to action.
• Navigate disagreement constructively: Individuals become better equipped to challenge ideas without allowing differences in style to derail the conversation.
• Strengthen collaboration: Team members develop greater flexibility in how they work with colleagues whose preferences differ from their own.

The goal is not to create a team in which everyone works in the same way. It is to create a team that knows how to work effectively with differences.

Building Style Flexibility Through Practice

Style flexibility is a capability that can be developed.

Self-assessment provides a useful starting point, but development needs to move beyond identifying individual preferences. Team members need opportunities to apply that awareness through:

• Practical workplace scenarios
• Reflection on their default behaviors
• Role-plays involving different working styles
• Feedback from others
• Deliberate practice adapting their approach

The objective is to move from understanding differences to working effectively with them.

Conclusion

Self-awareness provides valuable insight into how we naturally prefer to communicate, process information, make decisions, and interact with others. But awareness creates greater value when it influences how we behave.

Style flexibility turns understanding into action. By recognizing their own defaults, appreciating different preferences, and adapting when the situation requires it, team members can reduce unnecessary friction and collaborate more effectively.

Different working styles do not need to be eliminated or overcome. The strongest teams learn how to make those differences work.

Next Steps

Makeen's Working in Teams & Collaborating with Stakeholders course helps professionals build greater self- and team awareness, understand different working preferences, adapt their approach, and establish effective ways of working that strengthen collaboration and team performance.